No Good
by Robias
Summary: Tony Stark is used to understanding most everything instinctively. So why can't he understand what is happening between him and Captain Steve Rogers? Stony


Word count: 4000

Genre: romance, drama, humour

Rating: mature in later chapters

Note: My first upload ever! Feedback is appreciated, but play nice and remember I'm not a native English speaker. /Mattias

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Their first encounter had not been a good one. The Captain had refused to talk to Tony if it wasn't necessary for the mission and it kind of pissed Tony off. He was polite and smiled to everyone but him. Sure that he had been a bit of a douche at the beginning but come on, he had been nervous about seeing _THE_ Captain America. In the flesh.

Ok, so he could've been a bit more polite to the Captain seeing how he had been un-frozen just a little while ago, only to discover that most of his family and friends were dead, but he had been kind of a douche back so Tony regretted nothing. Tony knew now that Captain America was a jerk behind the scenes. End of story.

The person Tony felt most drawn to in the team was Bruce. He had heard some things about him before the team met, but what he saw before him was not what he had expected. The green rage monster was short. And looked very... pleasant. And very fun to tease. Tony made it his mission to annoy him in the same way he annoyed Rhodey.

For some reason, Tony felt bad as he went back to his place. Every time he had encountered the Captain he had spewed out insults and witty comments at him. And every time the Captain had this hurt look in his eyes as he walked away from Tony. But Tony couldn't help it. Everything his dad had told him about Captain America, the politeness, that he tried his best to get along with everyone he met, etc, had all been a lie. That first encounter had shattered Tony's image of his childhood hero and he made sure everyone knew how disappointed he was.

The only one who didn't seem to mind Tony's sarcasm and wittiness was Thor and Clint. Well, Thor seemed to like everyone anyway so that wasn't much of a shocker, but Clint seemed to think he was funny and always tried to come up with something clever to say back. Most of the time it wasn't much to hang in the tree but Tony admired his effort. Natasha seemed to be disappointed by the fact that S.H.E.I.L.D had let him join at all. She still hadn't warmed up to him and didn't seem to like his attempts to charm her. Their encounters usually ended in Tony laying with his back on the ground and Nat walking away.

Tony drove his car down to the garage and was greeted by Jarvis.

"Back so soon, sir?"

"No _'nice too see you'_? No_ 'I've missed you'_? Jarvis, You're breaking my heart."

"I must admit it is quite nice too see you home early and sober, sir."

Tony slammed the car door shut and walked over to the computer. He heard the sound of Dummy waking up but he ignored him for now.

"Your download of _'2 fast 2 furious' _is finished, should I put it up on the big screen in the living room for you to watch?"

Tony wrinkled his nose.

"Trash it." He didn't know what had gotten into him when he started downloading that movie.

"Wouldn't it be wiser for you to buy the movies you want to watch, sir?"

"Takes to much time."

After checking his mail and working on some updates to his suit, Tony decided it was time for him to go to bed. He asked Jarvis to wake him at nine in the morning and made himself a cocoon of blankets before going to sleep.

That night he had a dream about Captain America. A very naked Captain America.

After waking up in a spot of dried cum, Tony groaned and started changing the sheets. He remembered having an awesome wet dream, but not really knowing what it was about. He had flashes of the Captain but that couldn't be right. It must've been the Captain cock-blocking him the entire dream or something.

Tony hated wet dreams. It always left him twice as horny as the night before.

Before he was finished with changing the sheets, Pepper walked in. She stopped and stared.

"You're changing your sheets." She said, eyes wide and pen pointed at the bed.

"Yes, all normal people can."

"But you never change your sheets. What have you done? Have you killed someone in your bed?"

Peppers paranoia never ceased to amaze him.

"Yes, I did. And to cover my tracks I ate the person I killed and changed the sheets. Pepper, really?"

She rolled her eyes at him and strutted out of the room. He finished changing the bed and followed her.

"You have a meeting in an hour and you were supposed to meet the ambassador two hours ago." She said as he joined her in the kitchen. She gave him a cup of black coffee and sigh.

"Why cant you do that? You're the CEO. I thought that was a part of your job?"

"I was there. You weren't. I needed to check up on you to make sure you were still alive."

"What time is it?" He asked her calmly, sipping the hot coffee.

"12.30 pm."

Tony coughed and put down the coffee.

"Jarvis? Didn't I tell you to wake me up at nine?"

"I did, sir, but you told me you wanted to dream more about mr Rogers and put me on mute."

Tony looked at Pepper, almost wanting to ask her why he would want that, but she just looked at him with those accusing eyes like he had done something he shouldn't again. Tony bet that she knew more about the dream already then he would ever remember, and it made Tony nervous.

Pepper didn't ask further about why he wanted to dream more about the Captain but she chased him to his wardrobe to change for the meeting. It was only a board of directors meeting but she insisted that he needed to be present. On the way to the company he got a call from agent Coulson that he was needed at the S.H.I.E.L.D facility as soon as possible. He tried to use it as a means to escape the meeting but Pepper didn't fall for it.

After 2 hours of old men arguing if they should evolve nuclear weaponry or not, Tony was finally free. He kissed Pepper good bye on the cheek before rushing to his car and driving to the nearest coffee house. He needed caffeine if he would survive the day with S.H.I.E.L.D agents and the other members of the team.

When Tony finally made it to the headquarters he found it empty. Or, well, there was no meeting and he couldn't find any of the other team members. Tony walked into the tv-room and found the Captain sitting there, watching the news.

"Hey, Capsicle! Where's everybody? I thought there was supposed to be a meeting?" The blond man on the sofa turned to look at Tony and he didn't seem that happy to see him. Tony was guessing it was the 'Capsicle' nickname.

He turned to the tv again and huffed. He reminded Tony of an angry cat.

"The meeting was over hours ago. Where were you?"

"I was at another meeting. Unlike you others, I have responsibilities outside of the team as well."

"You're responsibilities to your country should come before your companies." the Captain had turned to face him now and Tony could see the frustration in his face. He was wondering if it was all because of him or if there was other things that was contributing to those feelings.

"If it weren't for my companies this wouldn't be possible. This team, the facilities, everything, financed by me." Tony was tired of being treated like a child. He did his best, or he did what he felt was his best. He wasn't a hero, he was a person that wanted to do better. He just wanted everyone off his back.

The Captain looked sincerely surprised by Tony's outburst. His hand went to his hair and he looked away from Tony.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. No one tells me stuff like that."

Tony sighed and sat down beside the other man. He saw some footage of himself on the news but the tv was on mute so he couldn't tell what it was about. Probably the skinny-dipping at the plaza incident with 5 girls last week or something.

"No, It's ok." Tony didn't know what to say. He usually just offended the Captain when they talked but now he didn't want to.

They sat like that for about 20 minutes. In total silence. Then Tony's face appeared on the screen again and Cap gave out a choked laugh.

"I'm sorry, but I see an awful lot of you on the television, especially on the emme tee vees."

Tony laughed.

"You should stop watching crap tv like that." Tony knew that the Cap didn't want to go outside just yet. He was easily recognized by the senior citizens and he didn't seem to think there was anything out there for him anymore.

"You should take the opportunity to watch good movies. I bet you've missed a few awesome classics over the years." Tony glanced over to Cap and saw that he was looking at him too.

"Agent Romanov have shown me a few movies and they were impressive but not really... my taste."

"I bet.." Tony mumbled under his breath, "We could have a movie marathon! I have some great movies at home I can take here, just... what movies did you like back in your day?"

"Oh, I don't know... The hero movies, guy overcoming his weakness and getting the girl. That kind of stuff I guess." A blush grew on Cap's cheek. He had probably seen _'Top ten guy movies' _or something equally stupid and those kinds of movies weren't in the lists.

It surprised Tony how easy it was getting along with Cap even after all the fighting they've had.

They talked about movies and tv and the coffee machine out in the kitchen aria that Cap found fascinating. After a few hours Tony got a call from Pepper, reminding him of some papers he needed to sign before tomorrow morning so he made his goodbye to Cap and headed home in his car.

He then wondered when he started thinking of Captain America as _'Cap'_. He guessed it wasn't important and stepped out of the car.

Tony found Bruce in the lab at the headquarters. The place where you always found him. Tony had started making theories that he lived in one of the cabinets there.

He just had to show Bruce the picture he just had taken of a sleeping Captain America, hair ruffled and drool at the corner of his mouth. Maybe he could sell it for a lot of money when the Captain was re-introduced to the world. Or maybe not. He might just keep it for himself. Good... blackmailing material.

"Hey! Cap fell asleep on the couch again." Tony held up his phone right in Bruce's face to show him.

"That's great Tony, I'm a little busy."

"You didn't even look."

"As I said, I'm busy."

"What'cha working on?"

"Sciency stuff."

"Details?"

"Tony, didn't you promise me a calm and stress free working environment?"

Tony huffed and shuffled to his corner to work on some lasers for the S.H.I.E.L.D agents. The silence didn't last for long.

"Did you know that Cap haven't tasted a cheeseburger from this time yet?"

"Fascinating." Bruce mumbled from his microscope.

"I was thinking of maybe throwing a junk food party or something to let him taste all the new stuff."

"Mhm..."

"Can I borrow your underwear and wear them as a hat?"

"Sure..."

Bruce was not listening. Tony took out a tape-recorder.

"Maybe you could pay for the party. What do you say?"

"Sounds lovely..."

It was settled then. Bruce would pay for everything, Tony would make the preparations and Steve would have a wonderful time.

Turns out that they weren't allowed to throw parties at the headquarters. Tony sulked for a while but ordered Chinese for him and Steve instead. On Bruce expense of course.

Tony was awakened by Jarvis pulling up the curtains. The sun hitting his eyes and he felt like he was going to die from hangover.

"Good morning, sir. It's 9.25 am and there is a mail from Pepper saying you are free from any duties today. Maybe you should take this opportunity to fix the sink in the kitchen? Or do you want me too call someone-"

"Mute"

Tony stepped out of bed and noticed that he was naked. He looked around in the room and under the covers to see if there was a girl hidden anywhere but couldn't find any.

He made his way out to the living room aria and saw a bottle of whisky and a mountain of tissues. Had he seriously just gotten drunk at home alone and then jerked off the rest of the night? Where had his bad boy persona gone?

"Jarvis, are you there?"

"Always, sir."

"Can you re-play what I was watching last night?"

"When you were intoxicated at home alone, sir?"

"Just do it."

He watched the screen as an old promo video from the WWII started playing. In the front there was Captain America, looking into the camera with extreme intensity. Even though the movie was in black and white Tony could hint the blue.

The he realized something. He had been at home alone, drunk and jerking off to a video of Steve.

Tony felt the panic building up. Why had he done that? Sure that he thought that Steve was attractive. More so then the average guy. Hell, he could probably get anyone, man or woman, to fall for him if he tried. But they were friends. A friend should not be masturbating to another friend.

But it must have been an accident. Maybe he watched porn first and then switched over to old movies and that promo was just one of them?

"Jarvis, can you show me what I watched before this?"

"From the entire day or just that night, sir? Because that there was the only thing except the _'Tomb raider'_ movie you watched, and you left it on repeat for 2 hours and 46 minutes. I suggested calling mr Rogers instead but you insisted that, and I quote,_ 'your love for him could never be' _and settled for the movie."

Tony watched the promo as Jarvis told him what he had done the previous evening. Tony's heart quickened. He knew himself well enough to actually know that he was at his most honest when drunk and that some really embarrassing shit had been reveled because of him never telling lies when intoxicated. Right now he was happy he had stayed at home while drunk. Who knew what could've happened if he had been out in public?

So, when drunk, he had realized that he got the tingles by Captain America, aka Steven Rogers.

No.

Tony's straight.

He didn't want dick.

He wanted pussy.

Or breasts.

Or both.

This was wrong.

How could he do this to Steve?

But he didn't have to know.

Yes, it could be his and Jarvis little secret.

"Don't tell anyone about this, or that night."

"Never, sir."

"You know what, delete everything I did yesterday evening and night from the harddrive."

"It's done, sir."

"Thank you Jarvis."

"Everything for you , sir."

After realizing that he liked Steve more than just a friend, Tony had shut himself in for about 3 days. The only one that could talk to him was Pepper and that was only through phone. He had told Jarvis to lock the house and that he could only answer to Tony.

Tony was having a sexual identity crisis. He had nothing against Homosexuals or anything. He had just not though that he was one of them. He still liked girls, had had checks multiple times with different porn movies, but as soon as the male actor was in any way similar to Steve he couldn't take his eyes off of him. Which scared him.

He had eaten too much ice cream, gotten drunk every evening, played really hardcore metal rock and tried to sing along.

On the fourth day Bruce came over and hacked himself into the system, letting himself in. Mostly because Tony was tired of being alone and let him, but also because he needed someone that wouldn't ask too many questions. Pepper was a no no, she would see right through him. Clint would only think that it was about some girl and suggest a boys night out. Natasha would figure everything out and tease him for it, and in a worst case scenario she would tell Steve just to spite him.

Bruce made his way to Tony's garage where he was trying to take his mind off of thing by fixing Dummy a new claw.

The shorter man put a hand on Tony's shoulder and made him turn to face him.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but... is there something bothering you?" The question was more like a statement that he knew Tony was feeling down and he was there to help him through it.

"No no, I'm just peachy." Tony said, turning around again to focus on the new claw. Bruce didn't say anything more. He just walked over to an empty chair and sat there. Quietly. And stared. Tony did not like this at all.

After 15 minutes of this Tony gave up and left the garage. Bruce followed only a few steps behind.

"Tony, you need to talk to someone. Everyone's worried and I think Pepper and Steve is on the verge of starting a support group _'for people who worry about Tony Stark all the time'_ or whatever they said this morning."

"Jarvis, how did the green thing come in here?"

"I am sorry, sir. He found the small crack in the security system you left. There was nothing I could do to prevent this from happening. This is your problem now , sir"

"Traitor." Tony muttered as he poured himself some coffee. He didn't even bother to offer Bruce any.

"Tony, I-"

"There's nothing to talk about. There's no problem, I just wanted to be alone for a couple of days."

Tony saw that Bruce wasn't buying it.

"Tony, I think I know what this is about."

His heart almost stopped.

"This thing with Steve, isn't it better to just tell him? I bet he wouldn't have a pro-"

"Wouldn't you mind?!"

"I'd probably just be flattered" Bruce said flatly without any hesitation. Tony's eyes grew wide. "I would probably turn you or any other man down but I would be ok with it I think."

"Wha- Wait.. _'Turn down'_? Turn down what?"

"A love confession from another man? Why? What did you mean?"

"Me being aroused by Steve? Isn't it what you came to talk to me about?"

"No! Well... that's probably a part of it... but no! I meant, you know... You having.. feelings towards him. In a romantic kind of way." The discomfort could clearly be seen on Bruce's face and Tony snorted.

"You mean I would _like_ like him? Not just physical? Please. I don't feel that way about anyone." But now Tony got uncomfortable.

"Oh, yes you do." Bruce chuckled. Now Tony blushed slightly.

"No I don't!" He could hear himself sounding like a 5 year old, getting teased for liking the new girl in class.

"Then why cant you stop talking about him when you're not with him? And know all of his favorite movies and foods? And pictures of him on your phone when he 's fallen asleep on the couch? And cant stop smiling when he smiles at you?"

Tony just walked from him. He went to the wine rack and took a bottle of champagne from it. He drank from the bottle. It would probably had tasted better cold and in a glass but Tony didn't care at this moment.

Bruce stayed the night and talked to him. After half a bottle of champagne and a glass of beer Tony started talking too. Bruce then took the alcohol from him, getting a little whine from him. He wanted Tony to remember their talk tomorrow.

The next day Tony wakes up in his bed. He could even remember Bruce helping him to bed, undressing him and tucking him in. He had made the mistake of calling him mom though but he hadn't seemed to mind.

They had gone through most topics surrounding Steve, the Avengers, his dad, girls and Pepper. They had stated that Tony was not gay, that Steve was a sexuality of his own, that Tony at least had a crush on Steve, that girls were still hot, that Bruce very much would have something against Tony trying to install security cameras in Steve's room, that pepper would probably have nothing against it if Steve would be on board with the idea of dating a dude and that his dad still would have been proud of him even if he would be in love with his old friend.

Good night.

Tony groaned into the pillow.

"I could come back later if you need to finish up..." Tony snapped his head up and saw a very flushed Steve standing in the doorway.

Tony realized what Steve thought he was doing and, "No no! I wasn't doing anything."

Tony threw up his hands in the air and saw the relief spreading though Steve's face. Steve leaned against the doorframe in a very casual way with two cups of coffee in each hand. Tony waited for Steve to maybe give him one, but he didn't move. he just stood there, looking at him with a smile. Tony wouldn't mind seeing this every day.

"Are one of those for me?" Tony had to ask, because even if caffeine didn't affect Steve Tony doubted he would drink from two cups at the same time.

"Oh! Yes! I almost forgot.." He hurried to Tony's side and gave him one of the cup's. He knew Tony took it black and it was just what Tony needed right now. "So... do you feel better now?"

"Better?"

"Yeah, Bruce called me and told me you've been sick for the last few days and hadn't been in any condition to see anyone."

"Oh. Yeah... I felt pretty bad." He thanked god for Bruce being a good friend.

"You know I don't get sick, the serum thing, so why didn't you call me? I could've helped you get better?"

If only, but Tony wasn't sure Steve would like the _'help'_ he needed from him.

"Nah, I'm fine. I just needed to rest for a few days with bad movies." He played it off as a pro. "Anything new at the prison?" It was then he realized that Steve was out. Steve had left the S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters.

"You're out!"

"Haha, I felt bad for being cooped up at S.I.E.L.D when perhaps you needed my help getting better. Had to face the world some day, right? And Fury was really nagging me to see the outside. Pepper drove me here." Steve took a sip from the coffee.

"That's awesome! Jarvis. Order some pizza and a burger! We need to celebrate." He patted Steve's shoulder and for the first time he noticed how firm it was. Holy shit he was a lost cause now.

"Of course, sir. Should I call the others in the team as well?"

He chuckled a little as he saw Steve looking for the person that the voice should be attached to.

"No," he replied, "It's going to be a private party."

Maybe just having a secret crush on Captain America could be enough for him. A bit creepy, but enough.


End file.
